From Worry to Hope
Worry…We all do it.
For many it is a way of life. We worry about ourselves, our children, our parents. We worry about our health and our finances. We worry about our country and the world. Life can seem so fragile at times. When we worry, we feel like we are doing something. Some people can make worry the biggest part of their lives. But worrying never really feels good. It leaves us with a pit in our stomachs. Our thoughts keep spinning around torturing us with all the possible horrible outcomes of whatever situation is currently front and center. Worry can be crippling.
The anatomy of worry starts with a simple thought. Negative, of course. And that thought takes hold of another…and another…and another. Each thought leads to the next. It can feel like a vise taking hold of you and not letting go.
I have witnessed the suffering of so many of my friends and family who are experts at worrying. As a therapist, a big part of my job is to sit with my clients and help them work through their worries. And as a mother, I have done my fair share of worrying. I’ll admit, I’m not prepared to give up worrying fully, and I don’t expect anyone to stop worrying completely but minimizing worrying can go a long way toward living a happier life.
Worry is future focused. Fear of something bad happening in the future. Maybe even, fear of the worst. We have all done it…pictured the worst outcome in a situation. We have all been terrified in the midst of these fears. We learned this from a young age. From the moment you realized that life can sometimes be really tough. And for many people life circumstances can be so incredibly overwhelming that it would make sense that this is where their mind would go. When life has not been kind in the past, we imagine that this is the way it will be in the future. We come to expect it.
So what do we do about this thing we call worry?
How can we stop these negative thoughts about the future?
The antidote to worry is, very simply, hope. Hope is the tiny spark that things might not turn out all bad. It is the little voice that says, “Maybe it will be okay.” Fear cannot reside where hope lives. I have seen the moment when hope shows up many times with my clients. I am always looking for it. It is the moment when I know change will occur. It isn’t always spoken, but I can see it. I can feel it. When a relationship ends and my client who is convinced she will never find love has a tiny second of, “Maybe I will.” When the high school student who worries that everyone in school will never forget an embarrassing situation realizes that everyone is really just thinking about themselves. It’s when the couple that is constantly fighting has a moment of clarity and understanding of each other. This tiny thing called “hope” can be seen. I look for it daily with my clients, I try to help my friends see it when they are feeling lost and I search for it quietly when I am caught in worry mode myself.
I have always been a big believer in the power of visualization. For 25 years I have been using it as a tool with my clients. I love teaching my clients (and anyone else who will listen) about the mind/body connection and The Law of Attraction (Whatever you focus on, you get more of.) So when worry hijacks your mind, you can use the power of visualization to free yourself.
Athletes have been using the power of visualization forever. If you check any successful team or athlete before a big event you will most likely find them visualizing success. They picture themselves scoring a goal, making a basket or getting a run. They picture success. Visualizing failure is not how you win a game. Or land a job, or overcome an illness…
“Use your imagination until your big dream feels so familiar that its manifestation is the next logical step.” – Abraham-Hicks
So the next time you are worried or fearful take some time to imagine the outcome you hope for, not the outcome you fear. Imagine the result you want in as much detail as you possibly can. Feel the feelings of your reaction to the good news or the success you are seeking. Get swept up in the feelings. Imagine the best. Get carried away with hope!
